Four Days an Infant

Four Days an Infant


You’ll probably think I’m crazy, I know I did. It has taken me more than a lifetime to make sense of my life. I’m dead you see, have been for forever and forever will be. You too should understand my life for my life was special, my life was revealing. I don’t expect you to understand fully, these things are hard to understand for the living, still I beg you to listen to my story.
Day 1
Nine months of warmth and darkness suddenly gave way to a blinding flash I still remember to this day. The world was cold. I remember wondering what was happening as I was forcibly lifted into the welcoming arms of the lady I would come to know as my mother. The initial flash of light had faded and I was beginning to notice shapes in the world, and oh my the colors. I hated them. The combination of color, light, and cold overwhelmed me and I am certain I began to cry. Don’t think me weak for I am certain anyone would have done the same in my place. Then the rocking started, it was gentle and rhythmic, I became obsessed with it. As I focused on the rhythm I couldn’t resist nodding off thus ending my first day on Earth
Day 2
I went home today, or at least I was home when I woke up. It was on this second day I began to see the world in a new way. The experiences I once found frightful and scary were growing to be exiting. It seems as though the colors I had perceived also had shape and texture. There is one thing I have found particularly pleasing and that was the cradle of arms I had faded away in the night before. I could spend the rest of my life in those arms.
Day 3
On this day I first encountered others. In the years I have spent musing over my life I stand by one conclusion. No one can hold a candle to the hold of my mother. My third day was a torrent of being picked up in passed around to the rough unfamiliar arms of what seemed and endless stream of strangers. Those minutes I spent distant to my mothers grasp remain some of my darkest memories. I had no idea that there were things so frightening hidden in this world. That they should appear unexpectedly and with such force almost makes me grateful that my life ended when it did. Every thing new in my life appeared with such ferocity I don’t know I could have endured it for years on end.
Day 4
This day still remains much a mystery to me. I had believed that perhaps I too might grow the size of my mother. Apparently my purpose was to be born, die, and understand. You see on this day I was confronted with a second blinding flash, this one much shorter than the first. And at once everything I had once experienced ceased to be anything at all. For all the time I have spent musing I can’t stop shaking the first thought I ever had. This world is cold.